Burning a portion of my dinner reminds me that no matter how much I pretend otherwise I don't like at all being lonely ESPECIALLY on a warm and gorgeous Saturday night. I hate having long conversations with one person. I dislike the lack of focusing on someone who is as charmed by me as I am by her. I never wanted to live a life where everything that would be about me would require my effort.
Today knowing that I live an an apartment by myself and nothing gets done here unless I do it feels repulsive and most unacceptable. I would have loved someone to have gone food shopping yesterday. It would have been superb to ask "Cheryl" to please pick up my suit at the cleaners. Or ask Angela to throw out the trash. It would have been superb to ask Merri if she and I could do the wash together or work to prepare dinner together. I'm also not looking forward to an anxious tough to get to sleep time arriving in a few short hours!
Lonely weekends are a bane to me. I adjust, at very best to them. At times they feel like a prison sentence, This Saturday night, March 17th in West Alexandria id definitely one of those times! Yuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Johnny -
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