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Saturday, October 30, 2010

Don't hit please, I'd rather that you use your words?

    Most of us, nearly all of us, would express anger and outrage if we saw a 7 year old boy or girl being punched, kicked, slammed hard into walls. Some people, the bravest and the most caring of the population would seek to intervene to stop these brutal and inhumane tortures. They would do so even if this meant that they themselves might be subjected to severe injury or worse!

 If the man or woman involved tried to justify this as "discipline" and " proper punishment", most of us would raise serious objections to these proffered "explanations"!  We'd say that discipline needs to be proportional and needs to have some instruction person. Hitting a child as hard as you can , at will for as long as you can fails to be considered a proper and appropriate way to discipline ANYONE. If another young person uses this kind of unrestraine4d and unmeasured force against another young person or a younger child, We properly and justly consider him or her to be a bully.

  Yet, Suppose another person no matter what their age decides to make  jokes and humor their weapon of choice! Suppose that person clearly decides to entertain him or herself or others by wounding some one's spirit, by publicly humiliating them. Is this improper? Is this wrong, evil, immoral or unethical ? If we see someone suffering, cringing, displaying the same physical reactions and  body gestures and emotions  that one might display if they are enduring a crippling beating ,What then? Is it wrong to demand that the "jester" stop now and immediately! Is it wrong to tell them that "I will not allow you to continue to ATTACK this man or woman, youth or boy or girl?" Is it wrong to challenge others to discontinue their " aiding and abetting" in the process of verbally savaging a fellow human being?

 I cannot be objective on this issue, not even slightly. I regularly endured unprincipled and unrestrained beatings from both my mother and father. I've had baseballs thrown at my head, I was once thrown to the ground and hit several times  mid- back with a broom stick. I had a heavy metal magnifying glass narrowly miss hitting me in the head when it was thrown at me from across the room. I was one pushed to the .floor and was hit 4 times on my left shin with a baseball bat. One of my nickname sfor my parents is " Mommy and Daddy Dearest!" I guess one of the blessings in my home was that we seemed not to have had any wire hangers!

  As I look back , they would mock me for not being a boy because I would cry as I was being beaten, they also would make jokes as they told each other that a boy knows how to endure pain well and doesn't whine, cry out or complain. My mother would often say with a nasty grin on her face, " I gave birth to three girls!" and then berate me for telling her she was wrong to say that. My protest sometimes led to further physical beatings. One time just before the start of a new school year, my mom asked my dad for money to buy new underwear, My dad 's reply " I guess all 3 of them need panties!" He and my mom laughed out loud over this!

 Years later, when telling a therapist about all of this, he offered the following observation," Based on what you are telling me, I believe your father should have been imprisoned and your mother institutionalized!" I believe his analysis to be 100 % on target. To me, Their verbal cruelty, their sadistic and character-corroding and self-esteem crippling " sense of humors " should earn them these "living assignments" EVERY BIT as much as their Gestapo and KGB approved methods of  physical "discipline" Both John Felix Rodriguez Senior and Florence Elizabeth Raven- Rodriguez are now deceased- my mother for a decade, my father for just short of a decade. I will not tell you where I believe both of them are residing right now- however I do believe that it is a place where many people are desperate to have both air conditioning and refrigeration!!!!

 So, I have some strong opinions on those who choose to coolly, calculatingly and strategically employ humor as others would employ a gun, a knife or a bomb. I'd rather avoid being anywhere near them and where they are I absolutely do NOT wish to be!

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