" I am never able to relax, It is clear to me that I am wrong and unacceptable. No matter where I am I must expect to be physically attacked. At best, I know I'm likely to be insulted, slandered and demeaned at any time and for any reason.", These TEND to be the thought and beliefs of people who have been pervasively and intensely bullied over long periods of time.
I wrote, in an earlier blog , about my never feeling safe anywhere - at home. in the neighborhood, while attending church or at school! This sense of dis - ease has followed me into adult hood. I have endured criminal acts and both physical and verbal bullying as an adult.
Schools have, over the last few years, have made some visible but questionably effective efforts to challenge and curtail bullying. These efforts still ask , too often, " What is wrong with the person being bullied?" and " What does he or she do that just might invite bullying?" In my opinion, the people who decide to attack and turn human beings into his/ her prey are THE PROBLEM and they are where the focus needs to be! I think that we are capable of separating out good humor and mutually agreed upon and proper teasing and joshing and someone being in an attack mode and involved in targeting individuals.
Bullying is not something that should be considered a rite of childhood passes that we endure, adjust to and eventually get beyond. Parents need to teach their children that you do not process their most negative reactions violently and pejoratively on other human beings. People are not proper dumping grounds for other peoples' venom and frustration.
This isn't a matter of teaching everyone martial arts. Not every one is going to learn to be proficient at these self-defense methods.There are some children who will not resort to violence and will not verbally return insults. The idea of ignoring the other person works rather inconsistently, some bullies will push until they gain a response. Some victims of bullying have been subjected to savage verbal and physical beatings when they FINALLY respond because now the bully has an "EXCUSE "to justify or her actions.
I believe this is indeed a most thorny and complicated problem! I do think that PART of the solution can be found in understanding that people are INDIVIDUALS and that respect for the individual is where we can begin to successfully arrest this unacceptable nastiness. The only general response that our society has pursued is the idea of " hate crimes"- we say that it is wrong to treat CATEGORIES and SEGMENTS of people in a derogatory way. Therefore, Bullying a gay teenager is seen as a crime against gays more than a crime against that INDIVIDUAL bullied 17 year old! This may help people to be stronger within a recognized an organized group but not as Timothy or Pamela!
Groups are not subjected to daily torments- individual boys or girls/ men and women are. Thus, When we make individuals feel more invested in and valued, Bullying will become steadily less likely, in my humble opinion, to be an issue!
- Johnny-
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