Spending as an expression of snobbery

Over the last 6 weeks, I've found myself in a highly restrictive and severely limiting financial situation. I have found it most necessary to spend as little as I possibly can from day to day. I've just spent whole days just staying home- my current disability status does make it possible for me to do this. I tend to get "cabin feverish" if I do too much of this but it does reduce my spending to Z!E!R!O! on those days.

  What I did not expect to occur is the effect that not spending had on my self-image and perception. I had to fight overpowering feelings of making less of myself- of believing that my value was steadily and continuously diminishing.

            I had always thought of a person who did NOT allow money to have that type of intense control over me. I now see how mistaken I had been in maintaining that view of myself! Greater Washington DC is of course known as a part of the country that worships at the altar of political power and influence.  I now do see that unless you have money and can show others that you are able to spending with comfortable lavishness you can be considered to be a person not worth very much.

 Yet, When the money is tight, ignoring the limitations and using the plastic to live by the credo  " I want what I want and I want it now" is a self-abusive fool's game , It is a game that only the credit companies win.

 Yet, Have opined on all of the above, One simple encounter taught me my most valued lesson since late August. I decided to go to the library to pick up some movies. I suddenly felt a strong sense of humility, " Johnny, Free Movies that are likely scratched up. Are you really willing to settle for this??? This is truly sad!"

 Therefore, I put the movies I had in my right hand on the shelf and ventured to the nearest available Red Box. I " impressed all who could see me" by placing a debit on my card for ONE!!!! WHOLE!!!! DOLLAR to rent " She's Out of My League", This movie , of course, stopped several times as it played and frustrated me rather noticably.  I started to get rather angry but then I stopped myself , " Johnny, It is ONLY a dollar". Then again, I laughed when I remembered that I had three movies in my hand that I could have taken out for NOTHING! If they were scratched, I'd still be a dollar richer!

  So, It was just about needing to spend a dollar - TO IMPRESS MYSELF- to truly be a snob- a rather pathetic snob. That little lesson was worth a dollar to gain. Money has many vital uses but it really does not work well as a rating, measuring or evaluative tool!

   -  Johnny -