I came to a saving faith in Jesus Christ on October 25TH, 1972. God does have a marvelous sense of humor - He made a very opinionated, high-strong, ultra-sensitive and willing to discuss and ABSURDLY ARGUMENTATIVE 17 year old and made him one of his servants. I can be quite annoying, shrill and easily obsessed. I spent far too many years being obnoxious and offensive to those who would not see all aspects of life as I did..
About a year ago, This turned me into a mocked Persona- Non-Grata on a free, popular social interaction and semi-dating .I was branded as fool, a whiner , a troll and just someone who was a waste of time to be connected to be many people on this site. Some of these people, sadly, were people that I truly believe to have been good, trustworthy and dependable friend.
Looking back on those ugly and miserable days of a year ago. I now see that a vast majority of the sticks and stone of outraged, inflamed and incited outrage was most well-merited! The biggest lesson I gained from all of this is the importance of MY!!! viewing adhominem arguments focusing on insult and personal mockery and denigration rather than precisely arguing the facts and the supporting arguments passionately, vigorously and thoroughly was a character defect that I had to rid myself of.
I see looking back on people who made a difference upon me in this regard. My 8th Grade Science Teacher was a man named Mr. Moody. Mr, Moody , while teaching a unit on biology, found himself discussing the "a-hole" as a a part of the lesson. He decided to refer to that part of the body as " The Anal Opening". He then told us, " Intelligent and wise people will always find a way to say unpleasant and delicate things in dignified and peoper ways."
My College Debate Team Coach, Dr. Mike Wallinger, told us vehemently as to how little regard he had for any use of ad hominem arguments' in academic debate. He reminded us that no education was required to be insulting and offensive. He set up a series of community Debates at one point. I was one of two debaters representing Frostburg State College in a Debate on The Subject of Floridation- adding floride to water for health reasons. This Debate was sponsored by the Allegany County Pure Food and Water League.
Dr. Mike was very contemputous of the anti-floridation arguments yet he insisted that we research this subject intensely carefully because we were not alloweed to dismiss anything that we could not challenge with a sound worth arguing and presenting statement against.
Years later, I heard a Washington DC Area Toastmaster Leader, Jill Lambe, putt forth this thought- " Please do not say anything , in a public speaking context that you'd be mortified to have your grandmother hear you say."
I just avoid people who see shredding other people as a way to carry on their affairs. I'm still prone, if I'm not careful,to want to respond to people in THAT manner and see that I gain nothing by being connected to such folks. Some folks really seem to build themselves up by belligerence and bullying as a first and likely only resort. I want , whenever possible, to not be associated with them.
Years ago, I encountered a man who said that he didn't like lioving where he lived now. That he once liked his neighborhood and his neighbors but that now he had to deal with too many people who did not look like him. He was angered by the clothes they wore, their attitudes and just how they conducted their daily affairs. He just did not want to know or get to know people who had different views on sexuality than he had and/ or were of races other than his. He only liked hearing English spoken and found outspoken and opinionated women to be extremely unpleasant. He also was inclined to tell people why he didn't wish to deal with them.
This man was easy to insult, threaten and mock. I confess that I yielded to that impulse myself. Yet, Someone asked me- Did he ever love animals? Was he ever married? Did he ever raise children? This person's point- Is it possible that this " horrid and offensive wretch" ever did anything likeable and lovable? Might it not be possible to think about such things when you tell with him or discuss him with others?
Easy to do? NOT!!!!!! HARDLY!!!! A strategy that most will choose ? Not Likely!!!! However, Would the person choosing to be different in THIS regard gain anything from choosing this way of responding?
Does responding in a " nuclear way" to those who seem to enjoy " nuking others" really benefit anyone involved in any way?
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