I am, often, not an easy person to get to know. I like my comfort zone and I have my boundaries.If my instincts give me a reason to think that knowing you might create difficulties for me, I'm likely to avoid you or distance myself from you. I see that this contributes to my isolation, disconnectedness and aloneness.
It is also somewhat hard to logically justify trying to militantly distance myself from those I randomly encounter. Everyone, in fact , IS a stranger before you get to know them. This very cold and soon to be finished- PRAISE!!! GOD!!! - Winter found me standing and waiting for buses quite often.
I'd dress warmly to battle the cold and have my radio turned up loudly to ignore the cold and distract myself from it as well. However, I found myself being "put upon", being asked to answer people's questions about the bus. Some of those question were rather detailed!
A few times, I answered the questions in a kindly matter. At times, I answered the question expressing displeasure annoyance and pique. There were times that I attempted to ignore that I was being spoken to.I also at least once or twice, berated the questioner, " I'm cold and I want to listen to the radio. I don't want to be annoyed by you!". I know that this is both egregious and obnoxious!
I also know that I pay a price for this obnoxious attitude for it sours my spirit! I know that all friends start off as strangers, so how many people/ potential friends am I alienating by my attitude. So, I need to find a cure for this " commonness " and " rigid" coldness in my personality. Anyone have any suggestions in THIS regard?
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