There is a balance that our society struggles to deal with properly, to all concerned who are within it and effected by in this early spring of 2011 here in the US of A!
Every human being starts life as totally and absolutely dependent on others for their survival. Some see this as the absolute responsibility of those who acted to create this baby, their mother and father!If this blog entry were being written in 1951, 1961 or even in 1971, few if any would shrug at reading the words I just typed. They'd be anticipating Bruce Hornsby and simply, shrug, nod and smile and say, " That's just the way it is, some things will NEVER change,"
Yet, Over the last 4 decades, We also have decided, " Sometimes people are just raised by one child. Day Care, Nannies, other relatives and simply providing as best a social safety net as we are able to for those who, for whatever reasons, seem to be left to raise themselves!!!!" have all also been deemed to be acceptable social constructs and just what we do to function as a society today.
The phrase, " It takes a village to raise a child" flows out of the way that some see that we NEED to be willing to operate in these present days! Yet, That does create complications. This can be seen when a dad arrives very late at school to pick up his 7 year old daughter from the extended day program. The dad is very focused oi what he needs to do!!! for the rest of this Wednesday night! His daughter seems to still be chatting and lavishing attention upon the day care staff member who has been with that child since she arrived at extended day at 1 PM- this is an early release day!
Fred resents INTENSELY what is going on, " You are my child, You know I'm your day. We both know that I have things I need to get done. Why weren't you ready for me when I arrived?". You'd really anger Fred if you told him that Aurora emotionally considers this 19 year old extended day worker more of a committed , loving and involved parent than either you or your wife/ her mom. Yes, She does know that your mother is away on a business trip in Germany and will be away for another 14 days. Yes, She knows that you have reports that you MUST write tonight ! Yet, She is 7, she needs to valued, cherished, fussed over, loved and somewhat catered to. Whether that works well or not for Fred at this MOMENT is something that might provoke a " That's just the way it is" response from Aurora if anyone thought to ask her.
It is good that our society has people who are devoted to be committed to parents and to the process of well and nurturingly raising a child! Yet, When a 16 year old is escorted home with a policeman, A village does not answer that ringing doorbell at 3:39AM. When your child wins the Spelling Bee, Your child is not likely, with tears in her eyes, thank 66 people. Sometimes our society feels more comfortable in playing games and spreading responsibility as widely as possible then it is to say, " This one is about me It is my life. I am responsible and I have an obligation to fulfill,"
The Mental Health Doyens of the Twenty- First Century remind us and teach us- sometimes perhaps in a bit of shrill and preachy manner of how much parents, guardians and those who support and nurture children- especially the youngest one- must strive and invest in having a child come to believe that it is safe and indeed good and positive for him or her to be alive! That for a child to become a confident, loving, lovable and competent adult that she or he must believe and clearly recognize that they have people on their side and with them, no matter what, THROUGHOUT this trial and error period that we humans call childhood!
I know well that no matter how well or atrociously any child is raided, EVERY adult is now presently and continuously responsible for the choices that they make today. What I, Johnny , do on do not do on this March 25th, 2011 is something that I am absolutely accountable and responsible for today. I also cannot sanely say that I will not accept the consequences of my actions, those consequences are part of my choices and will be upon me every bit as much as the fact that in 16 hours it shall be Saturday, The 26th of March!
Yet, Children need specific individuals whop are committed to them and will be there to lovingly be committed to them on the best days and during the worst ones on a day in and day out dependable basis for all the years that they are a minor. Our society can say , "Well, That person is or simply will be whoever is there for Mike or Brenda at any given time." is just not an acceptable answer, because human beings are just not able to function properly if they are raised in THAT manner!
- Johnny -
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