" Do you understand what is important to me?"

" Do you have the slightest clue what my Monday will be like?" People who are struggling to get through from day to day- and who have doubts nearly everyday as to whether or not they can make it can be very trying to be around. They may seem frustrating, negative and exhausting to cope with! You may feel used up and worn out after each encounter with them.


I will never tell anyone that is is their job to be giving of their time and resources without limit or end. That stance makes no sense at all.Yet, Most of us know people who want to be troubled or involved by no one. They feel as if struggling people, those who are in need and seem to often "run on empty", will give than some type of fatal disease if they spend any time around those who seem to crawl slowly and with difficulty from day to day!

Some people expect that those who are hurting and lost can turn their lives around in a nano-instance. All they need to do is- choose to do so. Yet, Old habits die hard and all people are inclined, under stress to do that which seems , to them, to be what is easiest to do. We also know that it takes 21 to 23 days of persistent effort to either establish or free onesself from a habit.

Thus, It can often be good to ask that some one have or be willing to express an idea to change. Then, It is good to make an agreement that they simply do something small and easy that you both agree that they SHOULD be able to do. You then ask them to do that on that day. You also allow them some grace, if they do not fulfill that commitment that day, you discuss the matter with them, see if they need a stronger resolve and work to have them in a situation that will be the most likely to lead them to success. However, Remind them that they must be honest- do not permit them to offer excuses- tell them that you prefer honesty, explanations and developing a better plan that is MORE likely to lead to success.

A sense of commitment that is growing stronger and looking back and seeing that success is leaving footprints in their life does help people to grow stronger and more effective. The idea is to ask that people be realistic - If they say that they can do something that will demand little or nothing of him or her then tell them that you know they can demand more of themselves and that you believe that they will benefit from doing more.

The idea is to keep them on a path of fulfillment, accomplishment, personal grroth and development and a  sense of self-love and self-approval that is based on measureable effort and progress.Accepting that progress will be slow and that kindness and patience will be needed from you is very acceptable. Being conned by someone who does little or nothing as a life style and always seems to offer an excuse or a "The Universe hates me" story is someone you can leave to suffer because that is, in truth, what they have decided to do!