Dealing with an earthquakes and being lashed by a hurricane can be rather unnerving! I guess I'd been trying to ignore it and pretend that it was not affecting me, As I look back on this late Sunday night, I see that was foolish.
I live with a diagnosis of PTSD from the child abuse that I was once subjected to. This means that I'm prone to depression and I can be very vulnerable to lapsing into reacting to trying situation with a high level of anxiety.
I did not react well when my Friday night Toastmaster Club meeting was held at a Starbucks rather than ion our professional and perfect to present in professional meeting room.We wound up getting locked out of that space.
Yesterday, I wound up being very prickly at My Saturday Morning Toastmasters Meeting. The carefully prepared intro to my speech was not brought to the meeting by The Toastmaster of The Day. This offended me and I insisted that I had sent it, I deeply resented that I had to hand write my intro to replace the one that I had carefully crafted 2 days earlier. I decried the lack of professionalism being displayed. I also snapped at several friends during the meeting.
I did not go to church this AM and slept in 'til very late. I'd lost power over night. I went out to shop and I was very quick to tell off people for shopping in a slow and cumbersome way and just being annoying when I wished to not be annoyed any further.
Yet, Such is life. I am not the King of the Universe and functioning to please me is not the order that it must always obey! God is very patient and has shown me great grace- through salvation and far beyond this- continuously- actually from glory unto glory! So, Perhaps, It would be best if I took more deep breaths, decided to show that I understand the power of patience and grace and be more willing to extend far more patience and grace in my dealings with others.
- Johnny-
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